Okay Everyone,
This is a piece of fiction I wrote for a flash-fiction contest. I missed the deadline by a day, and went WAY over the word-count. I'm putting it here because I'm yearning for a little feedback. Good, bad, or indifferent, please tell me what you think. Thank you.
Interupting Cow.
“Knock-knock.”
Knock-knocks jokes were new in Kindergarten. “Who’s there?”
“Interrupting sheep.”
I spoke slowly slower. “Interrupting sheep who?
“BAAHHH!!”
Little round face, bangs at his eyebrows; five-year-old boys have no comic timing. I didn’t have to work up the giggle for him, always loved Timmy.
My daughter, Sophie, planned to marry Timmy, and she never spared his feelings. “You ‘BAAHH’ before she finishes ‘who.’ Else the sheep’s not interrupting!”
My son Caleb had taught her to tell that joke , and tell it right.
Sophie bossed Caleb too, and her Daddy; only the men she loved. Maybe she thought she was saving them from their own poor judgement, their blindness to the obvious , their flubbed punch lines. My son was eleven, so I knew what was coming. On the first day of 1st Grade, the world got all girls vs boys. I would miss young Timmy.
I still missed Marie, the girl down the street who once ran Calab’s life. Marie used to love dirt and superheroes just as much as Calab had loved glittery facepaint and tea-parties. I missed walking behind them as they raced down to the park every Summer morning, them playing soccer together, them putting on shows. After Kindergarten, Marie transfered into a private school in the next town and quit the soccer team, so we only rarely saw her. On Halloween night this year, she and her girlfriends came to our house; she was dressed like someone straight out of one of those animated movies from Japan. Calab said that yeah, he’d seen her, he’d said hi.
When I walked past her house, I often thought of Marie, I hoped that she was doing alright. Maybe Calab did too; I never asked.
About one Saturday night a month, Timmy ate pancakes , hamburgers or pasta in our kitchen. When his parents needed “Date Night”, Paul and I kept Timmy with us. That way, everybody gets dinner and a movie. His folks did the same for us, we had a system. On Saturdays, Paul made dinner, and his repture consisted of burgers, pasta and pancakes. Timmy must have thought we ate that way every night. That Saturday, we were eating blueberry pancakes and sausage patties; Sophie’s favorites
“It’s my turn to choose the movie ‘cause Caleb picked last time.” Sophie spoke in her reasonable voice. “And I want Mary Poppins.”
Sophie and Timmy loved big musicals, but they usually fell asleep in a puppy-heap halfway through them.
“Well, you picked two weeks in a row.” Caleb reminded her. “Doesn’t that mean I get another pick? It should.”
I knew this couldn’t end well.
“I want to see Star Wars,” Caleb told me. “I bet Timmy would too. And he’s our guest, so he should pick; don’t you think?”
Timmy sat between my kids looking like he desperately wanted to see Star Wars.
“Do you want to see Star Wars Timmy?” Paul asked. I knew what answer he wanted. Paul loved his science fiction epics which I always called his “Space Operas”.
The kid had a mouthful of pancake and a forkful of sausage. He nodded, fast.
“Would that be okay with your parents?” I had to be the Responsible Mama.
“I think so. Yeah, it would.”
“Is that okay with you, Soph?” I doubted anything could stem the tide of guy-solidarity.
She folded her arms, shaking her head and glaring right at Paul.
“It’s a fun movie Honey. You always liked it.” Paul got a little whiny.
The tears were starting. Arguing with Caleb was part of every day. Timmy didn’t have to do what she wanted, but they usually wanted the same things. Her father’s wilful opposition was unforeseen and unforgivable.
Reminding her that she always wanted her very own trash can-shaped droid, felt unfair.
“You don’t have to watch the movie Sophie. You and I could do something else.” I couldn’t think of what we’d do.
“I wanna see a movie!” She started out loud and fast, ended quiet, slow, “just not that one.” The tears had stopped, and she gave a mucusy sniff.
“ We got outvoted tonight Honey. If you want to see a movie tonight, it’s Star Wars. Next time, you pick.”
“Does it have to be Mary Poppins?”
Actually, I was looking forward to Mary Poppins; I liked it much better than The Little Mermaid, another oft-chosen fave. “Anything you want.”
While I cleared the table and restored some order to the kitchen, the younger kids raced upstairs to put on fleecy pyjamas and Caleb microwaved popcorn. By the time the little ones returned, Sophie was all smiley. They settled on the couch under an unzipped sleeping-bag. Sophie was hugging Mac, her favorite soft baby doll. As she always did, Sophie loaned Timmy Blue Bunny to keep him from getting lonely.
I sat next to Sophie, and heard her whispering to Timmy, “Isn’t the little robot so cute? It would be great to have a robot; don’t you think?” I heard the two of them giggling and whispering, saw them pointing at the screen.
“I think it would be fun to have a space-ship like that. That way you could go all kinds of places. Don’t you think so? I’d love to drive a space-ship like that one.”
Sophie loved Han Solo and the Milenium Falcon.
“Why aren’t they floating?” Timmy asked. “They should be floating because there isn’t any gravity in space.”
“Well, this is.” Calib sounded like a guy who didn’t want to bother with the little details. “This isn’t like that.”
“Kinda pretend outer-space.” Sophie said.
“Not like the astronoughts.” Timmy agreed.
Whenever I watched Star Wars, I always felt scared when Obi Wan Kanobi steps forward to fight Darth Vader. Not scared actually, because I already knew what was about to happen, but it did give me the chills. Fresh dread every time. That part slid right by the young ones, and I was releaved.
I was expecting them to sink against me as they fell asleep, but they didn’t. Both of them stayed awake through the movie; both of them told the whole story to Timmy’s parents when they arrived. Timmy mixed up some major plot-points, but Sophie didn’t correct him. The kid couldn’t tell a joke properly, but Sophie gave him a break on this one.
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